To Do list

Releasing myself from the Burden of “To Do”

My to-do list is a mile long. I’d like to think I’m joking, but I’d be nervous to test.

I’ve deeply internalized the idea that happiness comes after all the “stuff”. After all the cleaning. And the organizing. And the scheduling.

That, somehow, after I do all of that, the time for leisure and love and laughter will miraculously reveal itself.

And I’ll exist in some weird blissful space full of happiness. Devoid of stress and, the clincher, to-dos.

But the real part of life is that, there’s always more to do. There’s always more to learn, and to think about, and to create, and to do.

A friend told me in the midst of one of my anxiety-ridden fervent to-do list creating panic attacks ‘don’t put it down, put it away’. And as much as I hate shit like that, its worked. Its reminded me to take those extra two steps now, when its easy. So there’s less to bargain over later.

My only resolution for this new year is to find little ways to release myself from my to-do list. To let myself have fun before I finish the dishes. And skip the bargaining of folding clothes before playing video games. Or organizing my apartment before going out dancing.

I am sock obsessed

Very few people can claim that they think about socks all day. Even further, the few that can would rarely admit to it.

Well, I’m here to do both.


I knit socks like my life depends on it.

I knit so many socks that I get bored of knitting socks and start gloves.

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Only to turn them into socks part way through because I love turning heels.

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I mean, I looooooove it.

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It’s my favorite part of making socks, followed closely by that cuff.

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So there you have it. My name is Shawna Jean and I’m addicted to knitting socks.


Everything’s coming up…Calphalon?

So I went a little disappear-y on y’all. For good reason though! Shiny new apartment!!!

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Which meant that I had to go forth and BUY ALL THE THINGS!!!

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That’s right. That is FOUR full bags from the Calphalon outlet. I bought everything. So, now I have a fully stocked kitchen. I bought some silverware and collected my plates from the walls of my childhood bedroom (let’s talk about that laters) and can officially feed people, including myself, from the comfort of my own classy kitchen.

Continue reading Everything’s coming up…Calphalon?

welcome to the dark side

Last July, I woke up with a whooshing sound in my head. Several doctors appointments, hearing tests, pokes, and prods later, I had a piece of paper with the words ‘Ménière’s disease’ and ‘serialized allergy testing’ written in almost illegible doctor’s scrawl.

And then began the real poking. Serialized allergy testing involves not only testing whether you’re allergic to an allergen, but also how allergic. It involves a series of usually 3-5 shots for every allergen you’re tested for. And if you’re super allergic to things, like I am, quite a bit more. (Let’s just say I should probably never even look at a horse again.)

After two straight months of constant ringing in my right ear, a complete building mold remediation at my office resolved my mold allergy and I got back to a normal life, as normal as one can get after being reminded that they’re allergic to everything.

Alongside the environmental allergy testing, I went all out and got my blood tested for food allergies as well. The month and a half that it took for these results to come back mostly involved me bingeing on anything and everything I thought I might be allergic to. (Great plan, right?) The end result being that I am definitely allergic to gluten, wheat, eggs, milk, and soy.

Continue reading welcome to the dark side